About Ian

Why am I passionate about Therapy?

• I know what it’s like to want to do and feel better but not know how to make it happen.
• I know what its like to be a teenager who just feels “really bad,” and whose everything is
  wrong, but doesn’t know what’s happening or what to do about it.
• I know the importance of this work and I know that it can’t always be done alone.
  

More specifically, I am passionate about the quest to be happier, healthier, more fulfilled, and to like myself more. And I am passionate about helping everyone I work with move toward those goals.

I grew up in a small town in East Texas. I didn’t fit in and I felt like that point was driven home
every single day. I was angry and depressed, and I didn’t know why, which made me angrier
and more depressed, which played a role in the way people treated me, which made me feel
worse. It was a pattern that was worn into a rut so deep that I didn’t know there was anything
other than that rut. I needed for one person to tell me they saw what was happening and that they would help. I needed someone to give me a roadmap out of the rut, or at least some clues so that I could find the map myself.

I stumbled my way through adolescence and early adulthood full of anger and hurt, sabotaging myself and my relationships. I acted out, hurting myself and others because I believed everyone was going to hurt me. I didn’t know that was why I was doing it. I also didn’t know that I had the ability not to do those things, because I saw myself and the world through the lens that childhood gave me.

Over the course of several years, three things fell into place that changed my path:

1) I picked up some weights. Finally, and instantly, there was something that I had control over in a positive way. There was a way to like myself a little more. There was an anchor, something to attach to when everything else was chaotic. And the equation was clear: diligent, hard work leads to results. I frequently use lifting weights as a metaphor for therapy. It’s difficult, but it’s not always complicated. Hard work pays off. Let’s get the most out of our time in the gym and in session.

2) I started working in a Wilderness camp. In 2003, I answered an ad in the paper that said “work with troubled boys in the woods.” Sixteen-hour days outside in the elements with teen boys from all kinds of backgrounds and all with some intense issues related to mental and behavioral health. I found my niche and I started to find meaning. I worked in settings like this for the next fourteen years. I didn’t know it at the time, but day after day I started the process of unwiring and rewiring some of the childhood and adolescent experiences that led to my anger and depression. This is one of our most important tasks in therapy. Through the content of the sessions, homework I assign, and the relationship you and I form, we unwire the unhealthy core beliefs and behaviors and rewire them in a healthy form.

3) I found the right therapist for me. I needed someone to provide some things I hadn’t gotten enough of as a kid; accountability, compassion, the willingness to challenge, consistency, and a hundred other things. This guy saw me, really saw me. And as long as I kept showing up, he was going to show up too. He never let me off the hook, but he also accepted me no matter what.

Not all therapy is the same. Not all therapists are interchangeable. My goal is to be for my clients what my therapist has been for me. I bring humor, compassion, and direct communication to sessions.

You’re valuable and I don’t want to waste your time or money. I want to get in, do the work, and get you back to living life as well as possible.